Monday, December 3

Growing Up

How do I talk to Rebecca about puberty? She doesn't even understand some simple concepts. How was you told about your monthly visitor? I've gotten several peoples opinions, but wanted to get more.

Here sister is almost 9 and we've already had "the talk" with her. I feel that being open and honest is the best and I would rather tell them then to have them surprised when it happens.

Rebecca's vocabulary is still close to a 6 year old & sometimes not even that. She is also emotionally immature and I have this horrible vision that comes across my mind. She runs up to strangers and says "You bleeding?". I know that may seem silly to you, but I am serious - I could really see her doing that. We are working on so many things with her right now while still letting her be a kid. I am afraid that she is not ready for the conversation, but I do not want her to be shocked when it happens either. Please help.


deafk said...

Since she has two disabilities, blind and deaf, she needs to learn a lot of vocabulary first... concept & pictures a lot. Then she would pick up more later. That is all about it. Show her the books, and sign the words, so that she learns what they are.

hope it helps.

Rini said...

I'm always amazed when I find someone who has Ushers as I do. However, your situation is far different than mine was. By the time I was 12, my vocabulary was around 4th-5th grade and knew all the bodily stuff and what made babies.

All of this was taught at school, so my mom didn't explain anything. What I do recommend is how much she already knows from school, if she is attending public school. If she knows nothing, then I really suggest sitting down with her and pretty much talk as much as you can to explain. That's all I can think of, and I think only you and her knows what is what.

I wish you best of luck, and maybe, she might surprise you with understanding. Who knows.

Shem said...


When I was in 4th or 5th grade, the teacher showed us the variety of feminine products and saw a film of how our bodies changed. However, it didn't really register in my mind on how it works. (BTW, I was in oral school and the film was so old, made in the '60s or 70s (!), which didn't help either :o( ). A few years later, on the day I had my first period, I spoke with my cousin, who was living with us for a while, about the strange stain on my underwear. After I showed her the stain, she drew pictures and a time line of 7 days and calenders of 28-32 days cycle. I then understood the concept. As for Rebecca who's 10, perhaps you can show her simple drawings of a girl's body - one without puberty signs (ie, arm/pub hair, developed breasts, etc.) like at age 10, then another one at age 11 or 12 and show her the differences between those bodies - flat chested/no hair vs. developed breasted/hair, etc. Once she understand the differences, then show her the picture (drawing) on the developed body of the womb and all. Show her the egg traveling from one of the fallipon (sp?) tubes and land on one side of uterus wall which sends a signal to the brain, telling it to bleed and that it happens once a month for 7 days. If she asks why we bleed every month, say that the egg is for creating a baby someday and if the egg don't meet the sperm (from a male), then it'll turn into menstruation. Also, tell her that some girls develop early and some much later. Most girls tend to have "starting" pub hair at least 1-2 years before the first menstual occurs. (If I'm correct but I may be wrong though)I hope this helps as I try my best to explain what I've learned (again in a different way) from my cousin, who used more visual steps. Oh, repeat that talk a few months or so later to see if she understands better then (sometimes the first time didn't registered and you'd need to repeat a couple of times over the period of time, perhaps with a revised way of explaining the steps) :o) Let me know how it goes. Best luck!

Dianrez said...

Perhaps you need to look to your child's classmates and her school. There is much information that passes between peers, so pay close attention to them and based on what your child is picking up from them, answer her questions honestly and simply.

It would be useful to teach her the basics of self-protection as is done in many schools: not responding to adults that ask too-personal questions, not allowing touch on areas covered by bathing suits, etc. Ask your school what they do about this.

Children are imitators and pick up more than you realize.